Your anxiety is linked to your OCD of washing your hands and fear of germs and catching a disease, but the biggest reason was your negative thoughts, which constantly came into your mind, increasing your stress and keeping you in a state of fear and uncertainty. Your thoughts were running your life, making you question things and leaving you in a constant state of nervousness, with little confidence to push forward. It was a cycle you went through daily without truly understanding why you were thinking this way. For example, when you went to the shop, you would feel anxious about touching things. If you opened the fridge at the store and picked up something sticky, your mind would automatically jump to blood instead of thinking it might be soda from a leaked bottle. Your immediate thought was, “It’s blood; I’m going to get a disease,” and that thought would completely overwhelm you, as if you were in a state of hypnosis.
Over the years, your mind became like an enemy, constantly reminding you to watch out for things, telling you not to touch this or that. It felt like you had trained your mind to focus on everything, and you found yourself hardly ever having peace. You would read up on the internet about ways to cope, and while some activities, like being in nature, would temporarily take your mind off things, they only relaxed you while you were there. As soon as you left or finished, the trigger would go off, and you were back to where you started.
One day, while browsing the internet, you came across a picture of a quaker parrot, and you fell in love with the species. You ended up getting two, a blue one and a green one. However, your mind immediately started worrying about their droppings making you sick, and just like that, your mind wandered back to its anxious state.
You discovered air purifiers online and learned that they not only clean the air but also remove pet smells. After some research, you ordered a water-based air purifier with a fishbowl design that requires one liter of water. You placed it in your room and left it running 24/7. At first, it was just a background noise, but after a month, the sound of the water spinning with the fans turned into white noise, resembling the sound of falling rain. This sound relaxed you in bed, and you found yourself focusing on it. For a few nights, you slept well and felt relaxed. This small change in your room made you realize how much your environment affected your mental state.
You recalled hearing or reading somewhere that you should clean your room or make it your own space. Instead of worrying about how things matched or looked out of place, you decided to transform your room into a personal sanctuary, much like how the air purifier’s sound made you feel better. You thought about things that caught your attention, like colors and old memories from your childhood. You bought egg-blue blanket sheets, dark blue curtains, and tapestries of pandas and birds from AliExpress to hang on your walls. You even bought a feather-themed carpet to cover a hole in the carpet caused by your computer chair. After a month of waiting for everything to arrive, you started building up your bedroom with things you enjoyed, not just what you thought looked good for a bedroom.
You added a bamboo plant to bring some life to your room and bought continental pillows, which you found surprisingly comfortable. When you finished, you looked around and thought you might have gone a bit overboard, but somehow, the room felt peaceful. You had filled it with colors and animals you loved, and you could sit on the couch in your bedroom and feel comfortable. Your brain recognized this area as a safe space, a place where you could relax without overthinking. You slept better and felt more at ease, and you began to call it your safe haven.
By telling yourself that this room was your safe space, you realized that while your anxieties and stresses didn’t completely disappear, you no longer reached that static feeling of pacing around and constantly asking “what if?” Your inner voice, which used to play mind games with you, became quieter. You started to see that creating positivity in your life brought you some relief from your constant negativity.
Another thing you started doing before bed was building stories in your mind, a technique you learned from a TV program. You would imagine yourself on a beach, reliving an old childhood memory, or even in medieval times. You focused entirely on these stories, even talking within them, and found yourself blocking out the world and falling asleep while using your imagination. This imaginative training helped take your stress and anxiety away, almost as if you had forgotten about them.
You also started practicing positive thinking exercises. When you felt that dreaded anxiety, you would close your eyes and repeat, “Peace is in you,” over and over again. While the negative thoughts were still there, you focused on the words and cleared your mind until you found yourself repeating them without thinking. You did this for a minute at first, and afterward, you would carry on with your day. If your mind said, “What if you caught something?” you would respond with, “You’re healthy, and healing energy is coming to you like water.” Over time, this practice built up your confidence, and while you still experienced anxiety and stress, the attacks no longer left you feeling completely drained or defeated.
Living in the future was another problem for you, always wondering about the “what ifs.” However, you learned to focus more on the present. Your two quaker parrots helped with this a lot, as they are needy and you enjoy having them around. You would lay down on your bed and just look around or think about a show you wanted to watch or a restaurant you wanted to visit. You realized that life is hard, but living in the present, putting your phone down, and having conversations with neighbors or family during supper time helped create a sense of connection and reduced the time spent glued to screens.
You’re not completely over your anxiety, but by changing things in your life and breaking out of your routine, you’ve found ways to cope. Being surrounded by things that make you happy and colors you enjoy has calmed you in many ways. You’re not an outgoing person and prefer staying indoors, so instead of going to the gym, you go for walks or stand outside at night, looking up at the stars. Living in the present and not focusing on an uncertain future has helped you feel more in control.
Believing in yourself more and replacing negative thoughts with positivity takes time, but it’s worth it. You’ve learned that everything you’ve built in your mind can be rewritten, but it won’t happen overnight. It requires constant work until it becomes normal in your life. Putting your phone down, having meals with family, or inviting a friend over for supper can create meaningful connections. Even dedicating an hour a day to something different, like revisiting a childhood hobby, can bring joy and focus back into your life.
With today’s technology, many of us have isolated ourselves, not just the younger generations but also older ones who spend too much time on computers or phones. The books they used to read are often forgotten. Taking time to admire the world around you, standing outside at night, and looking up at the stars can bring a sense of peace. You don’t think you’ll ever be 100% free from anxiety, but having more days where you feel confident and happy, rather than constantly crushed, has made your life better.
Your mind is powerful, and you are powerful. Building yourself up, focusing on the present, and creating a future one day at a time can make a significant difference. Keep working on it, and remember, it’s okay to take small steps toward a more positive and peaceful life.
Anxiety and Stress Don’t Control You!
“The Room Where I Breathe” Poem By joesite
In the corners of my mind, shadows grew,
Whispers of what if and don’t touch too.
A world of sticky fears, of blood-stained air,
Where every thought was a trap, a snare.
I washed my hands, but the fear stayed clean,
A cycle of doubt, a relentless machine.
The fridge door opened, the bottle leaked,
My mind screamed danger, my heart grew weak.
Then came the hum, a soft, spinning sound,
Water and air, a purifier found.
It sang like rain, a lullaby’s grace,
And for the first time, I found my space.
I painted my walls with colors I loved,
Eggshell blue, like the sky above.
Tapestries hung, pandas and birds in flight,
A room no longer dark, but filled with light.
A bamboo plant grew, life in my hands,
Continental pillows, like far-off lands.
I built a haven, a place to retreat,
Where my mind could rest, where my heart could beat.
At night, I’d dream of beaches and shores,
Of childhood laughter, of ancient doors.
I’d whisper, peace is in you, it’s true,
And slowly, the shadows began to undo.
My parrots chirped, needy and bright,
Teaching me presence, to live in the light.
No longer chained to the future’s dread,
I walked outside, where the stars were spread.
The world is loud, but my room is still,
A fortress of calm, a place to refill.
I’m not all healed, but I’ve found my way,
To face the night and welcome the day.
So build your space, with love, with care,
Fill it with things that make you aware.
That peace is a journey, not a race,
And sometimes, it starts with a single safe space.